


The Scars We Share

by Writer_wannabe_alsoicantspell



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: A hint of fluff, Angst, Crying, M/M, POV First Person, Short One Shot, post-tartarus, two guys being there for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_wannabe_alsoicantspell/pseuds/Writer_wannabe_alsoicantspell
Summary: You don't come out of Tartarus being the same. You're bound to have scars, whether physical or mental. Percy and Nico will tell you.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson
Kudos: 38





	The Scars We Share

I had to get out of there. The tension between Annabeth and I was painfully obvious among camp and having multiple pairs of eyes on us was suffocating me. Besides, it’s hard to enjoy yourself when your girlfriend, who also happened to be your best friend, recently broke up with you. Well, as she put it, “taking a break from each other.” 

So, I began heading towards the beach. It’s most likely a son of Poseidon perk, but either way, the ocean or any water source in general was always somewhere I could forget my problems and simply allow myself to relax. 

I finally saw the water and the serenity of the sea brought a sense of hope. The laughter from the campfire was slowly fading in the distance, the soft waves crashing on each other blocking out any background noise. Recently, I had so much on my mind, moments like these were quite rare. I silently thanked my dad for the view. 

What I saw definitely surprised me. There was Nico di Angelo, sitting near the grass, gazing intently at the water before him. I had no idea what he was doing there. I hadn’t seen him around in these last two months, which wasn’t surprising since he always seemed to be disappearing from camp, but after the war against Gaea, I had hoped to become his friend. I knew that because of Bianca, we’d have some difficulties in our friendship, but it was especially hard when he was so distant. Especially after going to Tartarus. 

Tartarus. 

No, I wanted to temporarily forget my problems, not dwell on them.

I contemplated going up to him. Shame rose in me. Nico was my friend, and despite our rocky past, was someone whom I wanted to get to know more. I began walking toward him.

“What do you want?” He startled me. He made no effort to look at me and his tone made it clear he had no interest in talking to me. 

“I-What are you doing here?” I asked. 

He gave me one quick look before turning around. “I should be asking the same to you.”

I decided to sit next to him. As I slowly lowered myself on the grass, I noticed his body tense. Did he really want nothing to do with me?

“Well, I guess so many people are overwhelming me.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “You? People are overwhelming you?” He was definitely surprised.

“I, well. Yeah.” I don’t know why I felt so compelled to tell him, but I felt the need to tell someone and let out my feelings.

“It’s been rough lately. Since, Annabeth and I broke up-”

“What?” Nico turned around and faced me. He quickly looked down at the grass.

“Yeah, we recently broke up. The news has been spreading like wildfire around camp, I’m surprised you didn’t know.”

“Well, I don't spend that much time here.” He said, surprise and confusion evident in his voice. His cheeks were tinted pink. Was he embarrassed? “Weren’t you two the golden couple?”

“I guess not,” I replied truthfully. I never expected us to break up, but the war changed us and I knew, despite not wanting to admit it, that this would be for the best. We were quiet for a few moments.

“And um,” He cleared his throat. “If you don’t mind me asking, why?”

“I, sure. To be honest, I think we grew apart? Well, no. Actually, I think it was a slow process. But I’m sure that Tar-I mean that place had something to do with it. She said we needed time apart to find ourselves and heal.” I was already regretting this conversation. I knew that Nico had gone through Tartarus alone, it was insensitive for me to complain about this when Nico had it much worse. 

“Oh.” His face went blank. I knew it, I shouldn't have brought it up. “But I don’t understand,” Nico stuttered. “Why would Tartarus mess your relationship…” He cringed. “You were there for each other, shouldn’t it have brought you even more together?”

“Maybe. I’m sure you know this, Tartarus changes you. It’s worse than any other monster we’ve faced. And, I guess, we were both weak, on the verge of death. Several times, we had just barely escaped monsters. We faced some things that just, you can’t forget them.”

“Yeah,”

“And, I did some things. I think that despite all the horrible things we saw and fought, all those terrifying images, the thing that scared her the most was me.”

“What, how?” Nico looked at me. “How could you scare her?”

“I, when we were fighting Misery, we were about to die. I couldn’t let anything happen to her. So I got out of control. I choked her. I tortured a goddess.” I couldn’t believe that I was talking about this out loud. The words coming out of my mouth sounded so surreal. I still remembered that moment vividly, I needed to stop. The feeling of having her at my mercy...

No, stop. 

I half-expected for Nico to yell at me or look at me in horror, but he remained there, his face completely indifferent.

“And she begged me to stop, that some things,” My voice cracked but I continued, “shouldn’t be controlled.”

The silence was killing me. “Does Tartarus still haunt your nightmares?” I whispered.

“What? I-yes. Like you said, you don’t come out of that place expecting to be the same person,” 

“Yeah,” I replied wistfully. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“There are some things I’d rather forget,” Nico replied coldly. 

“How do you do it?”

“Huh?”

“How do you do it Nico? I shouldn’t be complaining, you went through that place alone. I had Annabeth, but I, it sucks. I can’t fucking sleep anymore, I can’t look at Annabeth without remembering. I close my eyes and there are so many monsters, so many Nico.”

“Percy, I...” His voice took a much softer tone, he was trying to comfort me. Tears were sliding down my face but I didn’t bother wiping them off. I knew I shouldn’t have brought that subject back up, it only brought painful memories. 

“I've never felt more shame than in that moment, where my sword just fell out of my hands while facing Tartarus. And it’s crazy to think, what could a single demi-god do against a primordial god?” 

“Percy, I’ll tell you something.” Nico awkwardly rubbed circles on my back. “I had gone to Tartarus thinking I could find the Doors of Death. Thought I’d finally be useful if I helped-”

“Nico, no don’t think like that.”

“Shh Percy, let me finish. And what can I tell you, you were there. I saw Tartarus for what it was. The thousands of monsters, the creatures forming on the very surface I walked on, the hunger and thirst, my senses constantly on the lookout because I was quite literally in the land of all evil. Then I got kidnapped. Thought I’d be a major help, but look at me, you and the others had to go on a quest when I was nothing but mean to you,” I felt Nico dig his face in my shirt, his tears wetting the fabric. I had never seen Nico break down like this, and it broke my heart to see him go through so much.

Life was so unfair. He was still a teenager, yet he had gone through things so many others didn’t understand. And I couldn’t do anything about it. My own tears were building up, and I wrapped my arms around him as best as I could. Life was fucked up, but that’s just how it was for demi-gods. 

I expected him to yell at me to move. But he kept crying. 

“It’s crazy to think that we die, but monsters, they’ll always come back. You can’t kill them. To think that some people sacrifice their lives just to have that same monster come back years ago, well…” I felt his body shake in my arms. His cries were silent. 

He didn’t say anything. I knew that after this, he’d be incredibly awkward around me, knowing I was seeing him completely vulnerable, breaking down in a way I hadn’t seen before. 

“It fucking sucks, doesn’t it?” Nico stated. 

“Yeah, it really does.” I didn’t hesitate in answering. 

“Do you think we’ll heal?”

“Want me to be honest? Probably not. Demi-god life is hard to say the least, and going through Tartarus, it’ll take years for me to get that place out of my head. And that’s okay. I have people who care about me deeply and will support me. I guess time heals, but it might take well, time. We’ll have to see.”

I wanted to console him and help him feel safe. He was helping me too. We were two broken people, and we might not be able to heal each other completely, but we could make it better.

**Author's Note:**

> Hmmm, I don't know how to feel about this one, maybe I didn't capture the emotions properly? Oof, writing sad scenes are not my fOrTe. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this, thanks for reading! Constructive criticism is always welcome!


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